the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
