Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
