Dual....:-)
It was confusing and full of hummus
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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