Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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