Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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