a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Randomize
