omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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