Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
