$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
