i think i have herpe
just one?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
