We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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