$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
