ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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