if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Randomize
