I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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