i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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