I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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