This girl is more easily done than said...
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I want to fling myself into the sun
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
