i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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