Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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