The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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