I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
What a dumb baby whore.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Randomize
