no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
