OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
