I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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