I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
