He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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