I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
