his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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