D3 body, D1 cock
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You have to summon your inner elephant
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Randomize
