when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
