This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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