The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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