5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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