You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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