you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
