I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
