I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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