If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
