the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
