yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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