Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
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