well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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