god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I cut my penus on the lid.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
