We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
