I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
He better not be in your backpack
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Randomize
