He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I have fence marks all over my body
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize