Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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