I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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