so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
