Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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