I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
