If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
i think i just naturally attract stoners
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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