whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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