cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
