I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
