Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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