I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
