I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
