I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
